Below are some examples of thoughts and feelings that are commonly felt after a miscarriage.You may experince some,none or all of them...or have experiences which are not mentioned here
Just remember your grief is real and there is no need to be ashamed of it - ask for support if you need it..
If you have any other thoughts and feelings you would like to suggest for this page please email me with your suggestions.
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"Ive miscarried and i feel awful because im sure God is punishing me for something ive done in the past....."
God ISNT punishing you for something.... its normal in these situations to look for someone or something to blame..a reason something we can understand. Its also normal to turn on oneself ..
But the harsh fact is ..Sometimes these things do just happen. It isnt fair to blame God,or yourself,or anyone else dont be hard on yourself, you have suffered enough..sometimes there are few or no answers to that eternal "Why????".
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"Its been quite a while since my loss and now all my friends and family seem to have forgotten it ever happened. They expect me to have moved on and 'got over it' but i just cant! People have even started saying things to me like "Forget about it!" "Get over it" "Get back to normal!""
Remember your child..dont let others decide what is right for you. If you cant cope and find it impossible to talk to family or friends try your dr or an online 'community' such as available at Parents place. here a group of women with the same experiences as you feel free to express their pain. Try Pregnancy loss board
Or take a look at the huge variety of boards they have available -they are very helpful;Parents Place Board list
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"Ive lost my baby and one of my friends is pregnant I feel so angry and jealous!"
It may be difficult to deal with pregnant friends or mothers of new babies at first. Many people who have recent;ly miscarried feel resentful,hurt ,angry or jealous. Even sometimes secretely wishing it would happen to someone else.You may want someone to understand your hurt..share the pain...
You may also feel very ashamed and guilty because of these feelings. Years ago I read a snippet in a book of a quote from a priest on these sort of thoughts.(quote)'The devil is within us all...sometimes i am in a supermarket and looking at all the neatly packed shelves i want to run up and down them, sweeping everything to the floor....But i dont, i hold the devil under control and continue quietly shopping...(end quote)
The feelings will eventually go away,forgive yourself.
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"One of my frinds keeps urging me too get pregnant again as quickly as possible as then i will forget.."
A new pregnancy wont make you 'forget' You will still ache for the lost baby and pregnancy will have a collection of new fears - paranoia,fear,aprehension multiplied many times over! Make sure you are ready for a new pregnancy..it can be a stressful time for your body and emotions .
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"People keep saying i will be 'all better soon' but i feel like i will never be the same again!"
Healing is a slow process through grief and mourning - give yourself time.Your life wont get back to normal..in so far as you wont be quite the same again.A part of your 'innocence' has been lost. Slowly things will settle down and hopefully you will be stronger, more sensitive and compassionate....
Things to do and say that help
Starlight gallery Memorial page
Angel babies -individual memorial pages
To Sweetpeas story/memorial
Back to 'how does it feel'
What not to say page
What to say page
'Floor plan' of the East Wing;
* * * |
Room 1 What Not to say!' |
Room 3 What helps!' |
Room5 Your Emotions |
Room7 'Starlight Gallery' |
Room 9 Angel babies' |
Room 11 'Link Library' |
| Reception 'East wing' |
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| * * * |
Room 2 How does it feel?' |
Room 4 What to say' |
Room 6 Causes of miscarriage |
Room 8 Submit a memorial' |
Room 10 Sweetpeas page |
Room 12 East wing Friends |
For first time visitors with no experience of miscarriage;Welcome and thank you for visiting.I urge you to please start with ROOM 1!
Also please take a look at ROOM 2which considers how the parents are feeling..
If you have had a miscarriage and are looking for specific help/information .. Firstly i am sorry for your loss, you could try ROOM 3 which suggests a few things to do which help with the grieving process.
If you are feeling things are hard to cope with..maybe ROOM 5(you are here) which lets you know you are not alone with your emotions and sometimes extreme feelings after a loss.
Naturally there is always the question 'Why?'.Often this simply cannot be answered but in ROOM 6 there are listed some causes of miscarriage.
ROOM 7and ROOM 9 are 'public' memorial rooms where parents have left touching tributes to their own babies.You can view these and if you wish to leave one of your own ..go to ROOM 8to submit a memorial using the blank form there.
ROOM 10 is my personal tribute to our 'Sweetpea',story and memorial.
ROOM 11 is the links library - listing helpful links to other memorial sites and miscarriage help information resources.
ROOM 12 Is a special link page for people who kindly use my banner and link to 'East wing..to display their banner ( or have their site listed) Your site does not have to deal with miscarriage related topics to be listed here.
Angie.
