The Old Friend, Angie,
Harry and the Nude Videos


Angie frantically rushed to her computer one day and desperately contacted Paul. Beam me up Scotty - er Pauly! she demanded
Paul kindly did so and regarded her curiously as she flopped on the floor of the good ship Explorer. "Have you been in a fight?"  he asked kindly
Angie glowered at him crossly "I havent had a shower yet " she snapped crossly. " I need to use your shower - do you have such a thing here?"
"YES MY DARLING"
Angie hugged pauly with relief
He held her gingerly at arms length -"when exactly did you last have a shower?"
Angie glared at him again - she was extremely prone to moood swings; "Well where is it then!" she hissed in irritation. Pauly quickly ushered her to the shower and with a great show of being a good host supplied her with a towel and soap
Angie was heard singing in the shower for a long long time. Everyone started to get a bit cross - how long could the hot water hold out? And what was capable of drowning out that noise!!!?
Eventually she did reappear where Paul, Ethan and Carla stood on the flight deck. She was Very fresh and squeaky clean she arranged herself on the sofa in a bathrobe and toweled her hair. She smiled serenely. " Thank you so very much" she began...  "I cant begin to tell you how much that meant to me... try to imagine how wonderful it was to have a shower without little hands and feet hammering on the door and a chorus of dear little voices piping "MUMMMY  mummy mummmy mummmy mummmmmmmmmmmmy the entire time!!!"
"But that's  a lie Angie," smiled Ethan, "I was doing it for fun, didn't you hear me?"
Angie considered him thoughtfully.... "I was singing" she replied eventually
"OF course!" Ethan laughed, "You know, you could record a song with that voice!"
"Oh!" Angie blushed a little with pleasure...(maybe Ethan wasnt so bad after all - no-one had EVER complimented her singing before!!!!)
Carla looked up, "Hey... I have some instruments and stuff in my room... would u like to give recording a song a go?"
Angie became very shy and flustered and started making lots of excuses; Like "i think I just saw Death walk past the window" and other really convincing things
"Nonsense!" Ethan smiled.
"Maybe she needs incentive?"" Paul asked.
"Like what?" asked Carla.
AT THAT MOMENT, THE FACE OF THE OLD FRIEND APPEARED ON SCREEN.
"HI GUYS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
"Oh no Angie, it's our old friend. We hate the old friend he is annoying and laughs a lot!" said Paul.
"Yeah," Ethan said, "Let's concentrate on your record!"
"RECORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed The Old Friend, "SHE DOESN'T LOOK CAPABLE!"
Angie picked up a handy pitchfork and threatened The Old Friend which wasnt terribly effective as he was too far away for her to reach
"Tell ya what," said THE OF, "IF YOU FUNNY WOMAN CAN MAKE A RECORD, I will give you 400000000000000 gold pieces!"
Angie dropped the pitchfork and tried to count that high on her fingers - it sounded like an awful lot of gold. "I sing in the shower...." Angie offered irrelevantly at last. Recovering a little she peered at TOF "hey! she challenged " dont I know You!!!!!"
The OF laughed; "No Angie, but I know you! THE DEAL IS DONE! Produce a record, and the money is yours. If not..... well it's simple. I have taped your shower performances; and if you fail; I will transmit them to the entire galaxy so you will be humillated forever. BWAHAHAHAHAHHA, BWAHAHAHAHAH!" he laughed and ended the hail as he vanished from the screen.
"Hmmmmmmm" Angie considered this for a while " Im sure I know him from somewhere " she muttered " dont you just hate that feeling!...Wellll as to the humiliation - Pah! as if I care if he transmits my shower power to the universe - any old person outside the bathroom can listen to my singing - I just dont CARE!   ..however as a direct challenge has been made ...and there is money involved... and everyone will hear me anyway - lets have some fun!"
"That just gave me an idea.... any one outside the window? Have you ever had any peeping Toms in the area you knew of?" asked Paul, "Hmm.. how else would the OF have got videos of you in the shower singing?"
"OMG" shrieked Angie "Videos!!!!!! I thought he had taped them on cassettes. Now i am dying!" she collapsed on the floor.
Carla picked Angie off the floor, "Someone you know must be selling them! Who has been in your house recently?"
"Kenny! the bastard!" shrieked Angie before fainting again
Ethan looked at Angie, "I doubt it would be her husband. Perhaps their is some great mystery to all this!"
Angie who had actually fully recovered pretended not to have recovered at all so she could hear what everyone else had to say - in the meantime she tried to remember who The OF reminded her of...
*~*~*
MANY YEARS AGO...
The rebellious Angie strummed around year 10 looking cool.
"Who is that cute little kiddie" she asked pointing with her cigarette
"That is Pauly" replied someone who knew everything
"My he is very young isnt he - kindergarten?"
"Who cares?" said the person who knew everything, her name was Sandy, "Mrs BITCHFACE is our teacher again. I hate her... she doesn't make sewing interesting. Apparently we are getting a new boy today!"
"Oh goody! " exclaimed angie enthusiastically - she liked anything that had to do with boys. Preferably those a bit older than herself who were old enough to drive and who had lots of money and who were dumb enough to spend it all on her!
"You just clear off Sandy" Angie suggested helpfully - for she wanted to ensure she had first look at this new boy. Sandy was too pretty for her own good anyway - plus knowing everything - she was pretty annoying. Angie stubbed out her cigarette on Sandys nose and Sandy raan away howling
Suddenly, the most SEXIEST PERSON SHE EVER SAW IN HER WHOLE LIFE WALKED UP THE STAIRS.
"Hi!" he said, "I'm new here... can you tell me where to go?"
checking that she wasnt looking in the mirror , momentarily confused for previously she had always been the sexiest person she had ever seen in her whole life; Angie smiled seductively and draped herself around a convenient pole. " Oh I certainly can" she purred (considering drawing him a map leading straight to her bedroom). " Where would you like to go first ?" She murmered suggestively...moving very very close to the gorgeous hunk.
'Your bedroom would be a good start' he thought; "Umm well I'm in swimming class apparently. But I don't know where to get the bathing suits from... and I'm not sure what type to get, shorts or speedos? Is there anything that all the other guys usually wear? I don't want to rock up wearing one and everyone else wears another..."
'Or wearing none would be good Angie thought happily " Well..." she whispered (she only had to whisper as by now she was actually draped over the love interest; "welll,,,,, come with me and I'll help you ummmmm, try on a few pairs I can tell you which ones look best....."
"Sure!" he smiled, "I'm Harry by the way, Harry Knowels!"
"Harrryyyyyyyyy...mmmmmmm what a great name - its like a mating growel of a love stuck lioness, dont you think?" Angie who had no shame at all took a firm grasp of Harry and led him away
*~*~*
MEANWHILE back in the present, "ANGIE? ANGIE?" Paul cried.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Angie jumped with shock and rubbed her ear "what are you screeching in my ear for!" she demanded crossly
"We were talking to you; but you didn't seem to be listening?" Ethan said, "We're you having a flashback?"
Angie blushed furiously and tried to hid ethe fact by scrabbling around on the floor for an earing she pretneded she had lost.  " But your earrings are in your ears!" Paul pointed out helpfully. "Then it must be my damn contact lens that im looking for mustn't it!" snapped Angie
"I think it's obvious she had a flashback," smiled Carla, "Did it give you any insight into where you've seen The Old Friend before?"
"Umm... not sure..." Angie said with a sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The crew were all in a meeting room.
"I am not impressed!" Gemini said, "The Old Friend was dead, and now he is back to life. And free to roam and talk to us. Why does he persist on talking to us. I hate the old friend!"
Everyone blinked for a while.
"Angie seems to know him from somewhere!" said Ethan.
"Really?" asked Malia.
"Funny, I had flashbacks to highschool!" Angie said, "Maybe I remember him from there?"
"It still doesn't answer the question of how the Old Friend got your videos!" Paul said.
"Maybe he stole them!" Carla suggested.
"No that can't be right!" said Angie, "I live in a mansion now remember? It's impenetrable!"
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" said Blake.
"What?" asked Angie.
"We must explore the mansion!" said Blake.
"I think so!" Ethan said, "I'm already on it. Gem, wanna go undercover with me?"
Gem looked a bit out of it, "Huh?"
"I need someone whose minds going to be on the job!" Ethan said, "Blake, Malia.. come with me to the mansion. We'll see whose been taping Angie nude!"
The three walked off.
"Well!" smiled Angie, "I feel better knowing three almost strangers will be going through my house!"
"You won't have time for that!" smiled Paul.
"No!" said Carla, "We are going to help you record your album!"
Angie blinked.
*~*~*
"NOW!" Pat said, "I am going to demonstrate how to increase the loudness in one's voice!"
Angie was standing in the V.R machine with Pat wearing convict clothes.
"Allright. Ms. 4356 can you sing high?" asked Pat.
"Is that me?" asked Angie.
"YES!"
"Sorry Paul's mum!" Angie said, "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Now!" said Pat, "Let us experiment! We shall make gorgeous men sing high and see if we can match their tones. Computer, give me a gorgeous man... nude!"
A naked gorgeous man appeared.
"WELL!" smiled Angie.
Pat punched the naked man in the groin, "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"NOW!" smiled Pat, "Match it!"
"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
PUNCH
"ARHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!"
"LALALALALALALALALA!"
PUNCH
"ARGGHGHGHGH!"
"LALLALALALAL!"
PUNCH
ETC.
*~*~*
Blake, Ethan and Malia were in the dining room were in the dining room at the huggge mansion. Angie's family had been sent to a hotel until they could get to the bottom of the situation.
"What a lovely mansion we helped build!" smiled Blake.
"It is!" said Malia.
"Now, let's go through the list of suspects. The maid, the cook, the butler! Well that's just great! What sterotypical and cliched suspects!" Ethan smiled.
"The maid, Yvette Monsiur the french slutty type," Blake said, "The cook, Biddy Bodo the ex-African slave woman, or the butler, the tall imposing Mr. Javes!"
"We should observe them carefully, and see which one is capable of recording the mistress of the house taking her shower and selling the tapes to The Old Friend!" Malia said.
"Yeah, and try discover if The Old Friend is the only one our suspect sold the tapes to. After all, they might have been sold to more than one person... in which case, Angie won't be too pleased!" Ethan grinned.
"DINNER IS SERVED!" Yvette yelled, walking in as the cook served the food up.
"Thankyou servant types!" smiled Ethan.
"I am noones servant. I do this because I am paid too. A measley wage might I add!" The cook said, "Eat your food or not, I don't care. YOU aren't the ones PAYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!" she slammed the food down and stormed off.
"Er.. you must forgive Mammouselle Bodo, she 'iz not like ov-eer peoplez. She iz 'ow you say, abrupt!" Yvette said.
"Oh we'll forgive her. As far as we can THROW HER!" laughed Ethan.
"No Ethan!" said Malia, "Don't joke about the fat African Savage!"
The three burst out laughing, and Yvette laughed to, "She iz a little 'ow you say, plump!"
Everyone laughed and laughed as Biddy watched evily holding a real sharp knife.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"NOW!" smiled Max as he and Jack were teaching Angie how to use her hands sufficiently to strum a guitar, "Since we will be singing the blues it is imperitave that you know the tune... do-do-do-do-do . da-da-da-da. do-do-do-do-do. da.da.da.da!"
"OK!"
"I shall sing. You play!" Max smiled.
"Yes!" said Jack, as he stretched himself to long proportions and spun his bits through a guitar, "Now you strum me when your ready to start!"
"OK ready?" Max asked.
"YEP!" smiled Angie, starting to strum away...
Max started to sing to the blues....
'I'm just a little cat
do - do - do - do
So how about that?
do - do - do - do
You know I'm the fucking best
do - do - do - do
and I'm certainly not a pest
do - do - do - do
there's nothing I'd rather be
do - do - do - do
than a brilliant cat like me
do - do - do - do'
"WONDERFUL STRUMMING ANGIE!" smiled Max.
Jack oozed back to his wormy self and clapped for a bit, "That was JUSSSsssssssssssst fantastic!!!!!!"
Angie grinned.
*~*~*
Angie was smiling as she walked down the hallway and bumped into the ghost.
"Hi!" Ghost smiled, "How are you?"
"Oh my god you are a ghost!" Angie said.
"That's right. I'm a dead girl. But I'm a friend of these people, it's allright!"
"Oh! Well what's your name?"
"I'm Ghost! Original huh? So who are you?"
"Angie!"
"OHHH right! The signing girl!" smiled Ghost.
"Yes. I'm doing very well. Pat, Max and Jack have trained me up, and now I'm going to record a single with Carla and Paul. We'll show that good for nothing Old Friend!"
"Good luck with it all!" Ghost smiled.
"Thanks!" Angie said, and Ghost floated through a wall that scared the shit out of her but she continued on her way.......
......
*~*~*
MANY YEARS AGO...
Angie smiled as she and Harry walked out the office, "Oh it's a good thing I bought the speedos if you say every other guy is wearing them!"
"Oh I'm sure they are!" Angie smiled.
"I'll meet you at the pool?" Harry asked.
"Sure!" smiled Angie, and as he walked to the change-rooms she looked at his butt in his tight school pants and smiled.
*~*~*
"Where've you been?" Sandy smiled, now in a little bikini.
"Sorry!" Angie said running over in a bikini, "I was a little occupied!"
"Yeah? What by?"
"Harry Knowles his name is!" Angie smiled, "Wait till you check him out. I helped him buy his swim costume. Speedos!"
"Oh your bad!" Sandy said, "Why did he agree to wear them?"
"I told him all the guys here are wearing them!" Angie grinned.
Suddenly, from the male changerooms out stepped Harry in a pair of tiny speedos with the school logo on the butt.
"Oh gross!" one of the guys yelled.
Harry noticed that all the other guys were wearing shorts.
"Dude, you are sooo new aren't you?" one of the guys said.
"So lame!" laughed another guy, "New to the school and your wearing THAT?"
"He's got a death wish!" laughed another.
They picked on him for the rest of the lesson and he gave Angie death daggers.
"Oh the poor guy!" Angie said.
"Good one Angie!" Sandy sighed.
*~*~*
"ANGIE?" Paul screamed, standing there with Carla.
"Oh.. sorry!" Angie said.
"You were just standing in the hallway like a mindless zombie.... were you having another flashback?" Carla asked.
"Umm yeah kinda..." Angie said.
"Any new leads to how you know the Old Friend?" Paul asked.
Angie shook her head, "No..... I just can't figure it out!" she sighed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Malia was tucked up into bed in the HUGE mansion and she rang her little bell that called the butler. Mr Javes looking tall and imposing stepped in;
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?"
"Hi. I'm Malia. Well you know that. But what I was wondering Mr. Javes is, could you be a darling and .. well I don't know. Tuck me in?"
"You look well tucked in mamme, but if you insist!" Javes said, walking over and starting to tuck her in.
"Oh could you pull the sheets back a bit, they are annoying me slightly!" smiled Malia.
Javes pulled the sheets back and Malia's breasts were exposed.
"Oh my breasts!" Malia giggled like a schoolgirl, "Let me just cover them up, that's very naughty of me I'm sorry. I wouldn't want for anyone to see me naked! Imagine if it got out on video!"
"That would be terrible!" Javes said.
"Awful!" Malia smiled.
"Yes. Anything else m'ilady?"
"Well... I am kind of warm. Can I have a fan on?" Malia asked.
"Wouldn't you much rather take your sheets off? You have ten blankets!" Javes said.
"Oh your right. Well no. I'm fine!" Malia smiled.
"Goodnight m'ilady!" Javes sighed, thinking this girl was an idiot and shutting her door behind him.
Malia grabbed a hand held radio and started to through it.
*~*~*
Ethan and Blake were in what looked like a child's room and were playing with the toys when their hand held radio started crackling.
Blake grabbed it, "Go ahead Malia!"
"I'm not having any luck with Javes!" said Malia, "He shows no interest in me, let alone taking videos of my naked wet body!"
"Neither do I!" Ethan smiled, "Maybe Javes is gay too!"
"Shh!" Blake said, "Someone is coming!"
Suddenly Yvette's  scream was heard from the kitchen.
"OH MY GOD!!!!" Ethan cried, as he and Blake  ran off, dropping the radio.
"GUYS?" went Malia's voice on the radio, "GUYS?.... OH MY GOD! HELP! GUYYS!! ARHGHGHGHGH!"
*~*~*
Blake and Ethan ran into the kitchen.....
"Oh my GOD!" Blake said.
Yvette lay on the floor dead with a carving knife through her back.
"That is pure revulsion!" said Ethan, "I've seen enough death in my time!"
"Well I don't think it's over yet. This is after all Other Than Earth, we see many deaths. Some humourous! Some not. I think this one is somewhere in the WE DONT CARE SHE'S A SUPPORTING CHARACTER ANYWAY field!" Blake smiled.
"That's right, she only died to service the plot and she is doing that very well!" smiled Ethan.
"Who is the killer?" Blake asked, "I reckon it's that African savage!"
"What's her motive?" asked Ethan.
"Beauty. She's jealous of Yvette's feminine appeal!" Blake said.
"Right, it could be the savage. But... Biddy is dead!" Ethan pointed to Biddy the poor African cook gutted on the kitchen bench and laid to roast on the gas oven.
"THE KILLER IS JAVES!" squealed Ethan, "IT MUST BE JAVES!"
"IT MUST! THEN EXPLAIN THAT!" Blake yelled pointing at Javes' severed  head on the table in a bowl of pumpkin soup.
"Ummm.. killer Malia?" Ethan suggested.
"NO! Someone has killed these nice people. But *WHO* else would have access into the house? Angie's family is locked away in a hotel? The cook, the butler and the maid are all dead?"
"I don't know, but what do you think the killer is after!" Ethan asked.
"The mistress of the house!" said Blake.
"Right, but Angie is safe on our ship!" Ethan said.
"MALIA!" they both squealed running to the master bedroom and seeing.............
"SHE'S GONE!" they yelled.
*~*~*
"This is hopeless!" said Angie, "I just can't concentrate on this song!"
"Nonsense!" Paul smiled, "Keep trying!"
"Yeah... come on, me and Paul will play, you sing!" Carla said.
"I CAN'T! My mind is occupied. I keep having flashabacks, I know this OLD FRIEND from somewhere but WHERE DO I KNOW YOU FROM DAMMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Angie squealed.
Then collapsed.
Paul checked her pulse, "She's................................... ALIVE!"
"WHOOHOO!" smiled Carla screaming loudly with excitment.
Angie's eyes opened quickly and she slapped Carla, "Your loud screaming hurt my ears!"
"Sorry!" Carla smiled.
"Well I give up!" Angie said, picking up the guitars and amps and microphones and smashing them into nothingness, "I just can't go on, I feel like I'm going out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST NEED TO GO HOME AND REST!!!!!!!"
"NO!" said Paul, "NO REST! You will keep going (once we get new equipment) and we will finish the song. We won't have those tapes played to the public by the Old Friend!"
"Yeah Angie!" Carla said........ "Angie?"
*~*~*
MANY YEARS AGO...
Harry stood dripping wet in his tiny speedos by the side of the pool trying to cover himself up as everyone was laughing. Angie walked up to him and looked apologetic.
"I'm real sorry Harry!" she said, "I just.. well I just wanted an excuse to see you nearly naked!"
"At a new school, on my first day, you humilliate me like this?" Harry said, "Thanks Angie!"
"I'm sorry Harry, truley... why don't you go in and get dry. We'll try to forget this!"
"Everyone thinks I'm a loser, and they've all said stuff about my.... well look, just leave it alone. You've done enough damage don't you think?" Harry said, storming off to the change-room.
Angie sighed.
*~*~*
"ANGIE?" Carla yelled.
"Yeah?" Angie said.
"RECORDING!" Paul yelled.
Blake and Ethan ran down the hallway.
"Umm aren't you supposed to be in my mansion?" asked Angie.
"We were!" said Ethan.
"So was Malia. But she's gone!" Blake said.
"Gone? Gone where?" asked Paul.
"Missing!" said Ethan, "Presumed dead!"
Everyone looked shocked.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An urgent crew meeting was in progress.
"Where is she?" asked Gemini.
"No scans have detected her whatsoever!" Ghost said.
"I've analysed the blood found in the bedroom," Max said, "Definatley Malia's!"
"This is awful, who would brutally murder my cook, maid and butler and then kidnap Malia?" Angie asked.
Jack the worm smiled at her, "You might need councelling after today my dear!"
"Now is no time for therapy," Carla snapped.
"She's right!" Ethan said, "We have to find our kidnapped friend!"
"It would help if she would stop getting kidnapped all the time!" Blake said.
"I concur!" Gemini smiled.
"Oh where oh where could Malia be?" asked Pat.
"We'll keep up the scans, put them to 600%, I want her found!" Paul said like a captain.
*~*~*
It was dark where Malia was.......... she was bouncing around.. she realised she was in a box of some type being moved. She heard faint voices.
"Do you have her?" came a voice.
"I did as you asked. I slaughtered all those around her and brought her to you!"
"Good, good, good! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH.. umm now OPEN, HAHAHAH the BOX!!!!!!"
The box was opened and the bound and gagged Malia saw.......... THE OLD FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!" the Old Friend yelled, "This isn't the person I WANTED! THAT ISN'T ANGIE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Listen mate. I'm a hitman. When you say to me get the girl in the master bedroom, that's what I do! And I did. So I want my payment!"
"SURE!" laughed the Old Friend handing a few hundered dollars and the hitman left the series, "You will do Explorer girl! You will be a fine example to Angie!"
Malia looked a bit worried.
*~*~*
Paul, Angie and Carla stood on the bridge pacing when beeping enemated from Ethan's console.
"What is it?" asked Carla.
"Ship approaching... fast!" Ethan said.
"It's raising it's weapons!" Gemini added.
"It's the Old Friend's ship!" Pat said.
"The Old Friend? What's he doing back?" asked Angie.
"Now isn't a good time for him, we've got to find Malia!" Paul said.
"Hailing him...." Ghost said, "No wait.... he's hailing us!"
"Oh let's get this over with!" Carla sighed.
The Old Friend's face appeared on screen laughing manically, "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!"
"OLD FRIEND SHUT UP!" Carla yelled.
"Sorry!" The OF smiled.
"We have no time for this!" said Ethan.
"He's right!" Angie said, "I havn't produced your record. Show the world my nudity if you want, I don't care! One of these kid's friends is missing and I am going to help them find her!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THERE ARE NO SHOWER TAPES YOU STUPID COW, HAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHA!"
"OLD FRIEND, THAT ISN'T FUNNY!" Pat yelled, "You fabricated the whole story? NOT FUNNY!"
"Oh but my dear Patty Cakes, it had a reason!" The OF laughed.
"What?" Angie asked.
"To torment you. Just the beginning!" The OF laughed.
"Why torment Angie?" asked Blake.
"Yeah, you don't even know her!" Ghost yelled.
"Ahh but I do. Surley Angie, surley you remember your school days! Do you remember a chap by the name of HARRY KNOWLES!!!!!!!!!! BWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Yes.... Harry....." Angie sighed, "Such a beauty. I ruined my chances with that one!"
"Well...... you see my darling ANGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. HARRY WAS.......... ME!"
"ARHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHHGHGHGHG!" screamed Angie.
"Wait I havn't finished, he was me older brother!" The OF said.
"Oh.!" said Angie
"I am lost!" said Ethan.
"Let me try to explain..........." said The Old Friend, but Angie's mind was elsewhere................
*~*~*
MANY YEARS AGO...
Harry was walking home from school now when all of a sudden a car pulled up and five guys from school got out.
"Where you going Harry?" one of them smiled.
"Umm... Home!" Harry said, as he kept on walking.
"Why don't you slow down!" one of the guys smiled.
"Yeah!" grinned another.
Harry kept walking.
"I don't think he heard me boys!" smiled the other one.
"Why don't you guys piss off!" yelled Angie walking up with a shotgun she had got out her father's shed.
"SHIT!" the guys screamed getting in their car and pissing off.
"...thanks!" Harry muttered.
"I just came to apologise. About everything that happened today!"
"No problem!" Harry said, "I'm moving to another school anyway!"
"You don't have to do that!" said Angie.
"I think it's best. Don't you!?" Harry said.
"Probably!" Angie sighed.
"Oh well. I wish we could have met... under better circumstances!"
"Sure!" Angie sighed, watching Harry walk out of her life forever.
*~*~*
"Well that's not such a gut-wrenching ending!" Paul said of Angie's flashback.
"YEAH!" Carla moaned, "Why are you trying to wreck Angie's life because of *THAT*?"
"What you didn't know," said The Old Friend, "Is that when he walked home that night he fell down an open manhole and DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BROTHER HARRY DIED THANKS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh I'm sorry but I don't see how that is my fault!" Angie said.
"Yeah it's not like she pushed him!" Ethan said.
"GOD!" screamed Gem, "ARE YOU THAT THICK? WHY BLAME ANGIE FOR YOUR BROTHERS CLUMSINESS?"
"Oh!" said The Old Friend, "Well I guess your right!" and Malia was beamed back into the flight-deck, "Sorry about the misunderstanding, and all your dead servants!"
"Umm fine I guess!" Angie said.
The Old Friend closed his hail and flew off at maximum speeds.
"Are you telling me that the murders, the singing, the flashbacks everything..... it all really didn't mean a hell of a lot?" Angie said.
"That's true!" smiled Paul.
"But," smiled Ethan, "It did show you were cool at school!"
"WELL!" Angie said, "IF you don't mind I'm going home. Those days are over, there is a nicer, more sweeter gentler Angie now!" and she laughed manically before beaming away.
"Are you allright Malia?" asked Ghost.
"Yeah the blood pouring out of me will stop soon!"
"WELL it's been a long day and I'm tired. LEt's get drunk!" smiled Carla.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" squealed Blake grabbing a few bottles of everything, "Let's go!" and so the gang got drunk and had one of the best nights of their lives........................
 

THE END

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